Thursday, March 29, 2007

Reality TV: Who Made the Cut

Just when you thought you'd seen it all, there you have Sanjaya crooning about bathing in his ex-lover's bathwater while sporting a pony-hawk. It's ridiculous that Americans (me included) are so fascinated with this kid. I think that the wow factor is born out of disbelief that Sanjaya has established such celebrity for himself. He'll do fine whether he stays in the competition or gets sent home. I bet he ends up with his own reality show. There won't be words, or even a script. Simply Sanjaya and his many hair-do's. Looking at Sanjaya one wonders if he knows something that we don't.

It should come as no surprise that Heather Mills made the cut in her competition and will continue to wow us with her one leg.

And, to cap it off, America's Next Top Model is a little bit lighter as they sent one of their two plus sized models packing. Diana was a cute girl and all but she was so self conscious about her weight and took no pride in being the big chicken in the hen house. Whitney, the other plus sized model in the house was always making an effort to boost Diana's self esteem. I thought she focused too much time trying to keep Diana in the game and last night that lack of personal focus almost did her in as she was in the bottom two with Diana. Whitney does not look like a model to me but she carries herself with a lot of confidence and in a weight conscious world, it's refreshing to see someone love themselves despite the fact that they don't necessarily fit the mold. Hey, I think I just figured out Sanjaya's wow factor. He loves himself in spite of the fact that no one quite gets him.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Oh the Randomness....

How random is this? Laguna Beach alum Jessica Smith was arrested on suspicion of felony DUI on Monday. Jess is being held at the Orange County Jail Women’s Intake Release Center in lieu of $100,000 bail. She’s scheduled for an arraignment at the Harbor Justice Center on Wednesday. I wonder if the crash will be covered during season 4 of Laguna Beach?


Project Runway's Nina Garcia gave birth to a baby boy and season 3 winner and asshole, Jeffrey Sebelia split from his baby mama, Melanie. Source:

Tonight, Sanjaya will continue to hold the world captive with his awesome hair and awesomely terrible voice. Seriously, the kid has a future endorsing hair products. The sooner he begins his new career and gets the hell off of my television set on Tues and Weds, the better.

The remaining ten are set to perform songs from the last two Gwen Stefani albums. I predict that 90% of tonight's performances will suck and I'm apt to not tune in. I mean, Gwen Stefani can barely sing her own songs so in who's mind was this a good idea?

Also, tonight is the moment of truth for Heather and her leg. Will they live to dance another televised day?

And finally, just about the funniest damn clip I've seen in a long time, check out this Mad Tv parody:

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Dancing with One Leg

It was with bated breath that I watched Heather Mills strut her stuff last night on ABC's, “Dancing with the Stars.” I didn't want to see her leg fly off. Or maybe I did. Whatever- the point I mean to make is that I was thoroughly impressed with her ability to dance on one leg. To dance period is difficult. Now imagine doing it on one leg, wearing high heels and a really long dress. That requires some serious effort (and plenty of balance).

In all fairness, Heather does have an advantage. I am sure that she is wearing the fanciest plastic one can buy. When she asked her partner to pass her a leg from the pile of prosthetics I half expected the leg to walk itself over to Heather and attach itself to her dangling limb. Did you know that Paul McCartney is paying her 20K a day until they settle the terms of their divorce? I don’t need to tell you that 20K a day buys a bunch of legs.

But is Heather's fake leg really a handicap? One might consider her divorce to Paul McCartney to be more of a handicap. After all, the public tends to dislike women that are only famous for the men they married. When they divorce their famous husband, what makes them stars? Shana Moakler found this out the hard way last season. When her divorce from Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker went public, there was no love for the would-be opportunist. She was one of the first to go.

No, I predict that the missing leg will keep Ms. Mills in it for quite some time. That and the fact that she came across as very likeable during her introduction. I was pleased that the judge's didn't consider her handicap when offering their assessment of her performance. Sure they acknowledged it but unlike Paula Abdul, they were able to separate emotion from rating and gave it a solid 6 across the board.

I have no prediction on who will go first. Clyde Drexler was pretty painful to watch but on this show the athletes tend to do very well. Maybe the Backstreet Boy?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Best Friends vs. Boyfriends: life sucks when you have to choose

On the surface MTV's hit reality series, The Hills is as superficial and unrealistic as an episode of Fantasy Island or the Love Boat. I mean, the cast is comprised primarily of people between the ages of 20 and 24; some are in college, others are interns, but none of them hold jobs that produce real money. Yet they are rich enough to gain access into the hottest night clubs, sport the latest in designer fashions, and live in some pretty plush pads. They are all uber-attractive and lead what many would consider to be a charmed life. That is on the surface.

However, it occurred to me last night as I indulged in my weekly fix of this guilty pleasure, that the show is actually kind of deep if you can get past its’ sugary exterior. Deep you ask? The Hills is deep? Yes my friends, it is! In a season of 30 minute vignettes, the show is addressing an argument all women are forced to have at least once in their life: best friend or boyfriend? Last season it was Lauren defending her dysfunctional relationship with Jason. This time around, Heidi must play referee between Lauren and her game show host boyfriend Spencer.

If you watch The Hills you probably also watched its’ big sister, Laguna Beach. Lauren's beastly boyfriend was Laguna's playboy. He was a man of very few words and took the whole Ice Age cave man impersonation a little too far. Seriously, he didn’t speak, he grunted, and he humped anything with a pulse (including his BFF- Cedric). In my opinion that was enough reason to kick him to the curb but my girl Lauren needed something more than inferior communication and random humping to validate breaking up with Jason. He had like 9 lives in their relationship. She needed him not only to cheat, but also snort, embarrass her in public, cheat and snort some more before she'd had enough.

Their relationship played itself out in Season 1 and Lauren was forced to defend it to the viewers but not to Heidi. The entire time, Heidi was a loyal pal to Lauren. She didn't offer any judgment when Lauren overlooked Jason's Neanderthal behavior. She would give advice only when asked; express concern when appropriate. Abandon her own boyfriend and a raging party on New Year's Eve to pass Lauren Kleenex and rub her shoulder in a tearful cab ride home after Lauren lived through another one of Jason’s episodes. She was a damn good best friend to Lauren. There was no choosing between the two of them because Heidi never asked her to make a choice. She wasn’t an ass to Jason when he came over even though she knew he was part rodent (e.g. a rat bastard); she acted normal around him until Lauren was ready to give him the boot and then she supported that decision. Heidi comes from the school of thought that you don’t interfere with matters of the heart.

In season 2, it’s Heidi that is having man issues. Her boyfriend Spencer Pratt is a little Bob Sugar, the slimy agent in Jerry McGuire, and a little Richmeister, Rob Schneider’s character from SNL. Spencer reminds me of a game show host, complete with big shiny teeth and a very polished appearance. Anyhow, he had a wandering eye at the beginning of the season and tried to play Heidi by also hanging out with her friend Audrina. Heidi dumped him when she discovered he lied, but quickly took him back. Now everyone hates Spencer but Heidi still wants to be with him. He wines and dines her, takes her shopping, and is always showering her with compliments. Her friends are less willing to forgive and they don’t see this side of Spencer. They shout to the Hills of LA that Heidi should be done with him already. It’s with vehement passion that they bemoan her decision to stick by Spencer’s side. It’s the conversation they have over every latte they drink and every dress they steam. I can relate. Spencer is kind of creepy but hello! She stood by Lauren and didn’t cast judgment when Lauren passed up Paris to go shack up with her man-beast Jason. So shouldn’t Lauren give Heidi the same courtesy? Hmm… let’s explore that one a little.

The way Lauren sees it, her experience with Jason makes her the authority on bad relationships. She thinks Heidi should follow her advice and save herself a lot of heartache. Heidi is like, “Lauren, you’re my best friend and I love you and I understand your concern is coming from a good place, but bitch could you please mind your own damn business? I am a grown ass woman!” Well, she doesn’t say it quite that way, but you get the picture.

I feel both of them and I’ve been on both sides of the argument. Haven’t we all? It’s weird but with females, our relationships with our best friends can be as emotionally consuming as our relationships with our boyfriends. The only difference is that we have sex with one and not the other. All of the other rules of being in a relationship apply. I don’t know if you can relate but the closer I am with a friend, the more it begins to feel like a monogamous relationship without the intimacy.

Take for instance my high school best friend. We were inseparable and good friends until we were in our mid 20’s. Ironically enough, it was an argument over my boyfriend that ended our friendship. It wasn’t that she disliked my boyfriend. She just expected that she should come first. Her boyfriend was a lout, a real five stage clinger. He had no aspirations in life other than to be her boyfriend so she supported both of them financially and as long as he was by her side to blow hot sunshine up her ass, she was satisfied. I was a bit repulsed by her choice of man, but I kept my opinion to myself. I also adhere to Heidi’s rule of thumb; you don’t interfere with matters of the heart. Now that I’m older I realize our personalities were very different. My girl was a very needy person and I am very comfortable being alone. Strangely, she was an only child and used to being alone which is probably why she always had to have someone with her. I have two little sisters and I really value my alone time. I like to socialize with different people. She didn’t get that about me. In the end, she felt like I wasn’t giving enough of myself to the relationship or as she put it, I kept choosing my man over her. So we broke up. It wasn’t my man I was choosing at that point- it was my sanity. The girl was driving me crazy.

On the flip side, Lauren is dispensing advice from a good place. She means well and she is speaking for the majority when she says Spencer is a “sucky person.” Still, I am team Heidi in this one. I think that Lauren is also a little lonely and she has way too much time on her hands. If she were in a relationship of her own, she’d probably be less obsessed with Heidi’s. Sometimes you have to step back and let people make their own decisions. You can’t live their life for them.

What do you think? Have you been forced to choose? You can check out the Hills info at either or B-side does a really good recap about the show each week.

Monday, March 5, 2007

NAACP Image Awards: Bono for President

In case you missed the NAACP's Image Awards show this past Friday, I am providing a link so that you can check out the tribute to Bono and his acceptance speech after the organization honored him with the prestigious Chairman's Award. The speech was meaningful in many many ways. Bono is amazing; he gave me goose bumps! It's too bad that he can't run for president. I had no idea that the song, "In the Name of Love" was about Martin Luther King Jr. Support the One campaign and buy Red:

Heather Mills: Dancing with a Pros. Limb

Hopefully this link works. It will take you to TMZ for an interview with Heather Mills on her ability to Dance with the Stars. Clearly I am not the only person that is obsessed with how she's going to make this work. I thought that the interview was great and Heather comes across as very likeable.